Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We have so much sex to catch up on
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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