I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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