what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
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Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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