Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
This beer is not sobering me up at all
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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