i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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