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i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
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