there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize