Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize