Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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