How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize