I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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