I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He kissed a someone with a penis
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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