I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize