remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize