Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize