I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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