Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize