first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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