hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize