What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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