If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
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I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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