So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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