You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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