three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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