Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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