she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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