Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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