I wannas sexs uuuuu
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This is my gift to your gina
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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