I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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