Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize