You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize