is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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