Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
PANTIES FOUND
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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