Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize