Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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