Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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