I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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