there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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