I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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