so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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