i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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