just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize