Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize