Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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