apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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