I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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