Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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