i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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