i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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