i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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