I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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