My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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